I was a Year 6 student at Hay Park School in Auckland, NZ. I was in McCahon Class and my teacher was Mrs Kingston. This was where I shared my learning.
Our class had a blog and you can visit it by clicking here.
Hallå Lyle, How has your long weekend been? Hope it has been safe and sound! I love that your introduction isn't very long but introduces what you are going to say or write rather in a clear way. I noticed that your writing is very colourful because you have obviously assessed against the success criteria. What was your most challenging part of your writing? Have a great rest of your Queen's Birthday long weekend! Thanks for commenting on my blog!
Hi Evanjaline, Thanks for your comment about my information report, I enjoyed writing and editing it. My long weekend has gone good and that was a week ago, sorry for not replying back, just a lot of busy work going on. Your welcome for my blog comment to you, are you going to make a presentation about the history?
今日は (konnichiwa) Lyle, I like the twist you have added to your title! Also, I can see you're trying to build your vocabulary by using technical words and higher level sentence structures, bravo!
1) To add more factual detail (It would have been nice if you explained what each phase looked like instead of just naming the phases) 2) Use formal language - this means no contractions (it's should be written out as 'it is').
Hallå Lyle,
ReplyDeleteHow has your long weekend been? Hope it has been safe and sound! I love that your introduction isn't very long but introduces what you are going to say or write rather in a clear way. I noticed that your writing is very colourful because you have obviously assessed against the success criteria. What was your most challenging part of your writing? Have a great rest of your Queen's Birthday long weekend! Thanks for commenting on my blog!
Hi Evanjaline,
DeleteThanks for your comment about my information report, I enjoyed writing and editing it. My long weekend has gone good and that was a week ago, sorry for not replying back, just a lot of busy work going on. Your welcome for my blog comment to you, are you going to make a presentation about the history?
Thanks, Bye
From Lyle
今日は (konnichiwa) Lyle,
ReplyDeleteI like the twist you have added to your title! Also, I can see you're trying to build your vocabulary by using technical words and higher level sentence structures, bravo!
1) To add more factual detail (It would have been nice if you explained what each phase looked like instead of just naming the phases)
2) Use formal language - this means no contractions (it's should be written out as 'it is').
Otherwise, a great explanation text!